Children must learn to be obedient to their parents!
Let’s look at a few verses that we can point to in Scripture that can teach our children that God desires for them to be obedient to us.
Exodus 20:12 (NIV)
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.
Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary
“Honour thy father and thy mother, includes esteem of them, shown in our conduct; obedience to their lawful commands; come when they call you, go where they send you, do what they bid you, refrain from what they forbid you; and this, as children, cheerfully, and from a principle of love. Also submission to their counsels and corrections.”
My children must honor me and I must be worthy of that honor.
Are there certain areas/times that you feel your children are doing a good job honoring you?
Make sure to point out when your child is honoring you by obeying, showing respect and love, and being submissive to your counsel and correction. Praise them! Especially if you see them making improvements in areas you’ve been working on.
Ephesians 6:1 (NIV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Barnes’ Notes on the Bible
“Obey your parents – This is the first great duty which God has enjoined on children. It is, to do what their parents command them to do.”
Obedience to their father and me is what the Lord expects out of my young children.
Do you, like a lot of parents, find yourself repeatedly telling your kids, “the Bible says to obey your parents!”?
If so, have you ever sat down with your child (when they are not in trouble), read the whole verse, discussed what it means to be obedient, and explained that obedience is the duty that God is asking of them?
Do you recognize that when your child is disobedient to you they are also being disobedient to God?
“…because the child is not competent as yet; to “reason” on what is right, or qualified to direct himself; and, while that is the case, he must be subject to the will of some other person.”
My children need to obey me because they are not yet qualified to make wise decisions.
Are you training your child to be ready to make wise decisions on their own or are you training them to take orders?
“…it is important, because the family government is designed to be an imitation of the government of God. The government of God is what a perfect family government would be; and to accustom a child to be obedient to a parent, is designed to be one method of leading him to be obedient to God. No child that is disobedient to a parent will be obedient to God; and that child that is most obedient to a father and mother will be most likely to become a Christian, and an heir of heaven.”
My children must learn to be obedient to me now so that they can be obedient to God later.
Obedience is a learned trait that takes much practice and must continually be worked on through all stages of life. If we train our children early on to understand the importance of obedience to us, who they can see and who they know loves them, it will be easier for them to apply obedience to God, who (though unseen) is ever-present and loves them unconditionally and enduringly.
Do you realize that when you ignore disobedient behavior you are encouraging a character trait of disobedience which will make it harder for them to follow God?
“In the Lord – That is, as far as their commandments agree with those of God, and no further. No parent can have a right to require a child to steal, or lie, or cheat, or assist him in committing murder, or in doing any other wrong thing. No parent has a right to forbid a child to pray, to read the Bible, to worship God, or to make a profession of religion.” “… in all cases, God is to be obeyed rather than man.”
I cannot ask my children to do wrong.
I cannot keep them from doing God’s will.
It is important to teach your child that they do not have to follow any command given to them that goes against God’s commandments. Encourage your children to study the Word so that they can measure all commands/requests from adults and peers against it.
Have you discussed with your child that they have the right to, and should, say no to any adult or peer who is asking/telling them to do something they know goes against God’s commandments?
Colossians 3:20 (NIV)
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible
“Children, obey – in all things – That is, in the Lord – in every thing that your parents command you, which is not contrary to the will or word of God. “
My children please the Lord when they choose to obey me.
Do you ever take time to point out that the Lord is pleased when your child demonstrates obedience?
I challenge you to watch for opportunities today during which you can praise your child for their obedience and point out that God is pleased with them.
Proverbs 1:8 (NIV)
Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.
Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible
“it is a direction to all children to hearken to the instruction of their parents, and obey their commands;”
Mothers and fathers need to be teaching and instructing.
As mothers we are called to train up our children. Parents are to teach and instruct their children so that they can grow to know God, seek salvation, and spread the Good News.
Currently, does parenting feel like teaching and instructing or does it feel more like fighting and surviving? If the latter, what are some things you can do to change your attitude and parenting style to better reflect your call to teach your children?
Lord, help me teach my children to be obedient so that they will know how to be obedient to you when they are older.